SELF WORTH SERIES | Let's Talk About Skin Goals
I talk about expectations a lot here on The Journal, but I want to shift our focus a bit to your goals. One of the things I found very hard to shake was tying my feelings of self worth to other people's comments on my appearance (or lack thereof). People used to stop me on the street to comment on my beautiful skin. Then they didn't. I took that to mean my skin must be awful. In the absence of a compliment, I assumed only negative things. So at the outset of my healing journey, I set compliment-worthy skin as one of my goals.
Here's the thing, I have no control over how other people feel about my skin. I have no control over whether they comment on my skin, compliments or otherwise. It's a ridiculous goal and one that only set me up for feeling horrible about myself on a daily basis. I don't want that for you. We have to reframe our goals so that they aren't reliant on external validation that we have no control over.
In order to dig deep and figure out what your real goals are, you have to give yourself space. A time where you can tune out the noise, stop scrolling on Instagram, and just sit with yourself.
So here's your homework, for one week take 20 minutes out of your day to sit in silence or listen to a guided meditation or breathwork practice (I highly, highly recommend this one). Tune out so you can tune in to your intuition. Let the quiet voice of your intuition guide you to your true goals for your skin, your health, your wellbeing. How do you want to feel every day? (As an added bonus, my guess is that you'll enjoy this time so much you'll make it a daily practice.)
After sitting with myself for awhile, I discovered that my true goal was to feel at ease in my body. I didn't want to feel anxious about my appearance. I wanted to turn off the constant worry. And guess what? There are many ways to cultivate this feeling of ease. Crystal clear, compliment-worthy skin isn't the only way. Digging into self care really helped me to feel more comfortable in my skin, whether it was breaking out or not.
The goal matters. So it's time to get clear on what you really want.